


Dinner at Littorio's

by IndigoProphecy



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 08:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4131111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndigoProphecy/pseuds/IndigoProphecy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or as Artemis likes to call it, an exercise in reading people.</p><p>Or as Holly likes to call it, an exercise in tolerating Artemis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dinner at Littorio's

Littorio’s was the neighborhood habit; almost everyone of Central Haven’s working class has a  _usual_  that isn’t on the menu. On the rare occasion that they do have a new customer, they stuck out like a thumb. Waiters make a game out of spotting them. Always, always, first timers would whisper conspiratorially to the hostess:  _Is that where they sit?_ or if the offending table is occupied:  _Oh dearie, it’s a wonder he fits in that chair!_ Newbies also notably spend a fraction of dinner conversation muttering about crazy LEP business, their eyes wandering involuntarily to  _that_ direction every once in a while.

But for Littorio’s staff and other regulars, the elf and the human was such a fixture of the corner table during dinner shifts that they barely gave them a glance anymore. They don’t ask for pictures with the pair, too. It was why Artemis and Holly always eat dinner at Littorio’s every time Artemis was down. That, and Littorio’s made the only harukk that Artemis deemed edible.

Holly stole a piece of said dish from Artemis’ plate as she blew an annoyed half-groan, half-puff of air. “Newbies,”

Artemis pointed a glare to the just seated couple across the table. Embarrassed at being caught, the ogling fairies averted their gaze abruptly and proceeded to read the menu, which in the pixie’s case was upside down.

“Revenge then. To make you feel better,” Artemis offered good-naturedly, as if it was a mint he offered Holly rather than revenge.

Holly hit Artemis’ arm in warning. She knew very well Artemis’ tendencies when confined in a public food establishment.

“Relax. I’m not 10 anymore. What I have in mind won’t end in crying fairies.” Artemis said. He hastily added: “It won’t end in bankrupt fairies either.”

“What are you scheming then?” The elf sighed, deciding to just let Artemis have his fun. Heck, why is she even bothering to pretend to be indignant? If past experiences say anything, it’ll probably be fun for her too.

“An eye for an eye. They talk about us, we talk about them.”

Artemis pretended to look at the bar, his gaze passing the offending fairies’ table on the way. “The pixie is a ballerina, or whatever is the pixie equivalent for the dance. Obvious, what with how she walked towards their table. Her back now, ramrod straight. Not to mention that annoying flick of her wrist when she called for the waiter. The sprite’s easier. He’s a pianist. See how despite his relaxed state, his posture is still impeccable.  His fingers are in an unconscious permanent concave. When they were selecting from the menu tablet, he pressed hard. Too hard, given that the tablets are ultra-sensitive touch screens. Years of piano do that to you.  Not just a hobby; professional or student, then.”

Holly rolled her eyes. “Show-off,”

“What can I say? I’ve taken into reading people lately.” Artemis took a sip of his drink before he continued. “Ah, here’s the part your pedestrian brain might be interested in: they’re on a date.”

Despite herself, Holly’s interest was piqued. “Go on. You’ll explain it even if I don’t ask anyway.”

“Alright, but only since you asked.” The man smiled indulgently at the elf’s familiar eye-roll. “They’re nervous. Even someone who passed LEP Academy’s body language classes can tell you that. Pixie keeps on lifting her hand to tuck a lock behind her ear, only to remember all her hair’s in a ponytail. Accidental eye-contacts linger a few _meaningful_ seconds before both shyly and abruptly look away. You know why they’re nervous? First date.”

“You’re making this stuff up. There is no way-“

“Quiet. I’m not yet done. It’s their first date but they’ve known each other for years. I’d go as far as to say they’re best friends. You’d notice. Even if it’s their first, they’re more than comfortable with each other’s company. They’re seated so close to each other and they don’t even notice it. See how the pixie casually steals food from the sprite’s plate.”

Holly froze a millisecond and blinked. The last piece of soft snail shell from Artemis’ harruk was currently speared through her fork, and said fork was on its way to her mouth. She replayed Artemis’ observations and did a quick survey of their seating proximity. Just as she suspected, there was barely a hand’s berth between them. She hoped Artemis didn’t notice. Of course he wouldn’t; they always sat like this and she has always been welcome to steal Artemis’ food.

Seeds of the familiar half-doubt, half-whatever-the-d’arvit-this-is began to take root in Holly’s stomach. It’s a good thing mudboy was too absorbed with his spiel.

“If they’re close, why are they so nervous then?”

Artemis almost preened at the opportunity to show off. Thankfully, he learned about false modesty and how to control himself at age 14, sometime between an elevator ride in a Chicago building and falling from the metal spire of Taipei 101. “It is exactly because they’re close that they are nervous. They think taking their relationship to the next level might mean losing their lifelong, perfect friendship. It’s too big a risk for both of them; it’s why it took them so long to go on a date. But here they are finally, relieved that the female LEP captain and the human are here for a conversational icebreaker.”

Holly took a sip of her iced tea, suddenly wishing the drink was something stronger.

“Ah. The furtive glances around the room.”

“Hmmm?” Holly had noticed the pixie constantly cataloguing the Littorio’s patrons too. She thought at first it was just to find something to gossip about.

“She’s wary of other pixies. Another reason why they put off their romance. The pixie community still has a stigma on interspecies unions. She doesn’t care, but lifelong social beliefs are hard to shake off. But still, she’s here enjoying her date. He must be very important to her.”

The human and the elf’s conversation faded into comfortable silence.  The silence stretched to minutes as both friends got lost in their respective oceans of thought. The sun strips of Haven were totally off by now. Littorio’s wood brown walls and maroon trappings were softly lit by the yellow of sim-incandescents and sim-candles.

The silence was broken by Artemis’ short and cynical chuckle-scoff. “Holly, look. Subtle touches are everything. Watch his hand,”

Holly and Artemis watched as the sprite’s hand brush the pixie’s. The fairies were engrossed in conversation, both obviously trying to ignore the momentous firework display happening at the point of contact. They withdrew their hands; the pixie picked up her glass and the sprite brushed his fingers through his hair. A minute and an anecdote later, their hands met again.

Holly couldn’t help it. Her eyes snapped to her own hands. Relief flooded through her when she saw a plate and the salt shaker shielding her hands from Artemis.

A light touch brushed her legs. _Subtle touches are everything._

Holly wouldn’t say it was _everything,_ but it was something alright. Even through two layers of fabric, she still felt every synapse from her leg straight up her backbone tingle. The elf gritted her teeth. She wanted to hit something.

“Fin,” Artemis said softly, still absorbed in observing the fairy couple. Both he and Holly watched as the fairies closed the space between them.

Holly grabbed Artemis’ collar with one hand and his jaw with the other. The kiss was just like everything else they did. A blood-zinging, impulsive adventure fading into a slow, warm victory.

When they parted, the sprite and the pixie were smiling at them.

To Holly’s surprise, Artemis grinned back at the couple. “Thank you. You’ll find the check in the post.”

“You- you-“ Holly was still breathing hard, though most who could see the vein on neck would say it was because of anger rather than the kiss. “UTTER TWAT! YOU-“

By the end of the night, Holly forgets she is angry at Artemis.

**Author's Note:**

> I missed Artemis and Holly and so wrote this little thingy.


End file.
